I’ll be honest, I wrote this post after seeing Amanda Holden’s role as the UK’s Eurovision Song Contest jury spokesperson. Holden said Good evening in French and Dutch, followed by although I’ve got absolutely no idea which is which.
Whoever came up with that lame idea of a joke? They clearly misread the room – even the Brits perceived it as embarrassing or arrogant. It’s bad enough that the UK is hellbent on wiping out our language education, but why make out that being monolingual is some kind of cuddly national characteristic?
The first time I went to Western Ukraine, I used an interpreter to visit my father’s village. We found the family of my father’s first wife, a young Ukrainian woman who died in the 1930s. Despite these people not being related to me, they welcomed me and invited me back to stay next year, to look for my other family. I was up for that! But none of them spoke English. What to do?
One: Listen to the language
Ukrainian Lessons Podcast is my all-time recommendation. The podcast itself is free, but I subscribed to get the lesson notes, to see what I was hearing. There’s also a handy set of flashcards for the most common Ukrainian words, with each word shown in sentences for context. The ULP blog has useful information on almost everything you can think of. Using this site I learned c.150 words for my first trip. Useful stuff, the kind of thing you might use to ask WTF is going on in this courtyard in Lviv:
Two: Converse with people
Some universities run online classes, such as Ukrainian Catholic University in Lviv. There’s a time commitment, but it’s great if you enjoy learning with others. The Ukrainian Language Academy in Lviv also runs residential courses and offers individual Skype conversation.
Most valuable was being able to ask questions about customs in the rural villages. ‘No’ can sometimes mean the opposite! Useful if you find yourself staying in a village house where the only English word you hear is selfie.
Three: Listen to Ukrainian music
People claim they learned English through listening to music. Why not learn Ukrainian the same way? The lyrics may not be the most useful for conversation, but you’ll start recognising common words. Even better, search for the song on the Lyrics Translate site, and you’ll get the original lyrics along with a translation. One of my favourite Ukrainian bands is Okean Elzy, but I’ve also discovered the wonderful Один в каное (Alone in a canoe). Useful if you find yourself by the River Smotrych chatting to strangers, who then invite you on an actual canoe or kayak:
Four: Get out there and talk! To anyone!
Bus stations in Western Ukraine are the best places to talk to random strangers. I learned to recognise the call to a stranger: звідки? — where are you from? — and off we would go. Useful if you find yourself again and again at bus station no.3 in Ivano-Frankivsk, where I heard many life stories. If you’re lucky, someone might invite you into their garden to drink apple juice.
Five: When all else fails, try the Google Translate app.
Elderly people in the villages didn’t bat an eyelid when I whipped out the smartphone. Could be useful if you find yourself looking for your grandmother’s grave and a local person shouts something unintelligible. Google Translate told me the woman was suggesting I gate-crash a funeral and ask the mourners if they knew where my grandmother was. I did say could be useful.
Remember, although you might see this1
and this2 in Western Ukraine, it doesn’t mean you can get away with doing an Amanda Holden.
Did I mention Один в каное?
1 = British Club, Lviv
2 = The Underground Pub, Kolomiya